


Variation Under Nature

by CaptainMarvel42



Series: History Yet to Be Written [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Political Animals
Genre: Gen, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMarvel42/pseuds/CaptainMarvel42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>TJ wakes to the sound of shouting in the distance.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Variation Under Nature

TJ wakes to the sound of shouting in the distance. His head is throbbing and his body aches all over. The last time TJ felt this bad was when he had woken-up in the hospital after he OD’d. His mom didn’t believe him when he had said it was an accident, and the truth is, TJ doesn’t remember if it was. What he does remember is the crushing disappointment of waking-up after having fucked up spectacularly once again.

What happened comes back to him quickly: meeting the Winter Soldier, getting away from HYDRA with his help, and running to Doug. Oh God, Doug. The image of his brother lying unconscious on the ground flashes in his mind. Hehad been badly hurt. _And it's my fault_.

TJ opens his eyes slowly in case the doctors  are still there. He doesn’t see them, so he opens his eyes all the way and looks around. The light from above hurts for a second, so TJ blinks allowing his eyes to adjust. When he opens his eyes again, he looks around the room for clues, for anything that will help get him out of this mess. He notices an IV drip and a monitor to his left with blue and orange diagrams. Looking around the room, he sees boxes upon boxes are stacked on every wall of the room, but he can’t make out the writing on them; now that his eyes have adjusted, he notices that the round lights only give off a dim light. One more scan of the room confirms that he is alone.  

He hears a loud crash and then the sounds of bullets come from somewhere outside the room. _Fucking hell_. He tries to sit up, but he's unable to move because his arms are strapped down. With all his strength, TJ pulls and the straps break. Surprised but relieved, TJ stands up and stumbles. He leans on the hard metal bed for a moment to regain his balance.

There's an IV in his left arm, pumping something into him. He doesn’t know what the clear substance is, which leaves him with a feeling of dread at the pit of his stomach. He has worked so hard to be clean, and he has no idea what is pumping though his veins, so he pulls it out. That's what they do in movies, TJ thinks.  Bad idea--there's a lot of blood, and the pain comes fast and sharp. He goes to the medical tray beside the bed and finds gauze and tape. Putting pressure on his arm, he wraps the gauze around his arm and tapes it down. His arm is throbbing. _What did they do to me?_

TJ looks around for a weapon, but there are only medical supplies, and he doesn't think a scalpel will do anything against guns.

The door opens, and _screw it_ , TJ picks up the scalpel, pointing it at the intruder. For the first time, he realizes the hospital gown he's wearing doesn't cover much, but it's not the time to suddenly become modest.

The man is unmistakably Captain America--suit and all. TJ almost pinches himself to wake up, but if this is a dream that means he's still strapped to the table with doctors doing who-knows-what to him; if this is a dream, he’ll take it.

"You never called," TJ says a bit hysterically to Captain America-- _Steve_ , TJ thinks.  He asked TJ to call him Steve the first time they met.

"Sorry about that," Steve says, and he points at TJ's bloody arm. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, it's great. I've never felt better," TJ says sarcastically, but even as he says it he realizes it's not a complete lie. Sure, he's bleeding and his head's throbbing, but he's also clear headed in a way he hasn't been... ever. Everything looks sharper, almost as if a persistent fog has lifted. He notices Steve is staring at the bed with furrowed brows.

"Did you do this?" Steve waves at the bed, apparently lost for words.

TJ walks over to the bed, unsure why Steve is so surprised, until he notices the straps. Instead of seeing the fabric straps he expects, he sees what's left of twisted metal straps that he must have broken through. _How is that possible?_ Even if they were fabric, it would have taken more strength than TJ has to break through them; adrenaline could explain it, maybe. But metal straps? That's some Captain America shit.

"What the fuck?" TJ says.

“I’m not sure,” Steve says, but TJ wonders if he is being completely honest. Something about the way he hesitated before answering makes TJ think he’s holding something back. _What do you know that I don’t?_

“What is going on?” TJ wants answers. “What did they do to me?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m here to get you out. We’ll find out what they did.”

“How?”

“So, what’s the next step of this rescue?” Thinking about it, TJ doesn’t get why Steve is here. Sure, they’ve met, but they’re not exactly close. If it was his mom needing to be rescued, she would deserve the Avengers treatment, but TJ? Not really. “This is a rescue, right?”

“We’re going to stay here until we get the signal that it’s clear.”

“What’s the signal--”

The door slams open and Steve pushes TJ behind him and raises his shield, but quickly lowers it and releases TJ. Steve walks towards whoever opened the door and TJ strains to get a look.

“You!” TJ shouts, relieved when he sees the Winter Soldier. The Soldier is wearing different clothes than the last time TJ saw him. His arm is visible and he is dressed all in black, much more like the man TJ saw in the DC footage on the news. He looks between the Soldier and Steve with his brows furrowed. “You know each other?”

“HYDRA knows we’re here. We need to go. Now,” the Soldier says to Steve, voice flat.

Steve nods. “OK.” Steve turns to TJ and asks, “Can you run?”

The thought of running with his head throbbing makes TJ’s stomach churn, but he answers, “Yes, fine, just get me out of here.”

The Soldier pulls a gun out from his back, and TJ tenses, but the Soldier walks towards him and passes him the gun and says, “You might need this.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Buck,” Steve says.

The Soldier turns towards Steve and says, “He knows how to shoot.”

Steve looks at TJ and asks, “Is that true?”

“Yes,” TJ answers, even though it’s not entirely true. Yes, he knows how to shoot a gun, but it wasn’t until after the Soldier gave him a gun that he ever pointed a gun at a person--not that it did him much good. Steve starts speaking quietly to the Soldier, and TJ can’t quite hear what they are saying, but he does notice that Steve’s shoulders are raised and he is holding himself tensely. The Soldier has his eyebrows up and he is speaking quickly to Steve. It’s the most animated TJ has seen him. TJ hears Steve say “Bucky,” which doesn’t make any sense because the only Bucky TJ can think of is Bucky Barnes who is long dead. Unless... Bucky looks like TJ and so does the Soldier. If Steve Rogers can be here, then why not Bucky Barnes?  “Did you just say Bucky, as in Bucky Barnes?” TJ asks Steve.

“We need to go. Say behind us,” the Soldier--no, Bucky, says. TJ finds it hard to believe that this stone-faced man could be the same Bucky Barnes he learned about in school. This is the loyal sidekick to Captain America?

Steve goes out the door first; Bucky follows quickly behind him. TJ rushes to catch up to them, gripping the gun hard and pointing it at the ground. The sound of the door closing behind him startles TJ. He looks around the hallway, and blinks at how bright the lights are. It’s a very sterile white hallway. Steve and Bucky stop walking when they reach the stairs, so TJ stops behind Bucky and asks, “What is it?”

Steve turns his head towards TJ and puts his finger to his mouth, gesturing for him to be quiet. TJ looks around the hallway, but as far as he can see, it’s empty.

A shot rings out.

_Thump._

A body falls from the stairs. It’s a man dressed in the same combat gear as the men from HYDRA who took him. TJ sees Bucky with a rifle out and realizes he must have shot the man. All TJ feels is relief that the man is dead instead of him.

Steve waves and they are going past the stairs through a set of wide doors.

The next room is chaos. The Falcon is fighting three HYDRA goons, and TJ trips over something. He looks back and sees the bloody body of the male doctor from earlier; he’s dead. TJ spares a moment to wonder where the woman is when he sees Steve knock out two of the men with his shield and Bucky throw one across the room into the wall.

“I had them,” the Falcon says, and TJ can’t tell if he is annoyed or teasing.

_Crack._

TJ looks for the source of the sound and sees Bucky attacking the computer station in the centre of the room. He smashes the console with the butt of his gun. Bucky stops for a moment, looking over at TJ as he says, “We need to destroy it all. HYDRA cannot have this information.”

Having felt pretty useless so far, TJ asks, “How can I help?”

“Destroy as much as you can,” he answers.

TJ nods, walks over to Bucky, picks up a computer, and smashes it on the ground. It's much lighter than TJ expects. He picks up a laptop and throws it into the wall. TJ’s never been violent, but there’s something satisfying about mindless destruction. Looking over at Bucky, TJ notices the metal arm hanging limp at his side--there must be something wrong with it. Between Bucky and TJ, it doesn’t take long for all the computers to be in pieces. “Is that enough?” TJ asks.

Bucky nods. “For now. It'll slow them down,” he answers, and he’s the first to leave the room this time.

The Falcon and Steve, who’ve been keeping watch, are looking back and forth between TJ and Bucky. TJ wonders what they’re seeing.

Steve follows after Bucky and the Falcon walks up to TJ. “I’m Sam Wilson,” he says putting out his hand.

“Mhmm, and we need to get out of here quickly,” Sam says, and he waves in the direction where Bucky and Steve left.

TJ runs after them, Sam at his side. The next room must have been a very high-tech lab, but it’s hard to tell because it has been destroyed. TJ frowns, wondering once more what they did to him on that table.

“We destroyed the lab on our way in. We have some samples, just in case we need them,” Sam tells TJ.

TJ thinks he meant it to be reassuring, but it’s not.  If they need samples, they might not know what HYDRA has been doing to him after all.

TJ follows Steve out the room. He can’t see Bucky anymore, but he assumes he’s in front of Steve. Sam's still at TJ’s side. TJ follows Steve though a door and they are outside. TJ sighs in relief. Looking around, TJ sees Bucky with what looks like a fuckton of explosives. “What are you doing?”

Bucky looks up from the explosives. “Making sure HYDRA can’t do this to anyone else.”

“We need to go,” Steve says.

A black unmarked SUV pulls up and Steve tells TJ and Sam to get in. Inside the SUV, there’s a man in some sort of red superhero costume. He looks over at TJ and says, “Hi, I’m Ant Man.”

“You’re serious?” TJ asks because it’s a ridiculous name.

“You’ve heard of me?” Ant Man asks excitedly.

“No, sorry,” TJ says apologetically, “There have been so many new superheroes lately that it’s a bit hard to keep up.”

"Hey, you want some clothes?" Ant Man asks.

"Yeah, that would be good." TJ had almost forgotten what he was wearing, but now that they're out, more clothes would be good. He puts down the gun carefully, making sure the safety is on. Ant Man hands him a bag and inside TJ finds a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. "No underwear?" TJ asks raising an eyebrow.

TJ shrugs and pulls on the jeans, which are a bit short and loose but otherwise they fit. He takes off the hospital gown and grabs the t-shirt. He thinks he notices Sam staring, but that might be wishful thinking, and it really isn't the time to find out. It doesn't stop him from looking at Sam as he slowly puts on the shirt--nothing wrong with giving one of his rescuers a bit of a show.

TJ turns toward the front and makes eye contact with Ant Man using the rear-view mirror.  He says, "Thanks for the clothes. Do you have a name?"

Ant Man turns around and looks at TJ again. "It's not much of a secret anyway. Besides, we're already at the clothes-sharing point of this relationship. I'm Scott," he says, extending his hand.

TJ shakes Scott's hand. "I won't tell anyone unless you want me to."

Steve opens the front door and says, “Drive.” Scott nods and starts the car.

“Where’s Bucky?" TJ asks, worried.

“Setting off the explosives. We'll catch up,” Steve answers, and he shuts the door. 

Scott starts driving. Being in a car with the Avengers is a bit of an unnerving experience. TJ doesn’t get why so many superheroes would show up to rescue him, but he thinks is must have something to do with Bucky.

TJ hears a large explosion and looks back at the flames engulfing the building. There’s no way anything survived that explosion.

The car slows, the back door opens, and Bucky and Steve jump in. Steve moves to the passenger seat, a bit out of breath. Bucky shuts the door and sits beside TJ. Scott speeds up the car.

“So, is anyone going to explain what’s going on?” TJ asks. He’s not hopeful that he’ll get answers, but he has to try. TJ looks at Sam, thinking he’s the most likely candidate to answer. So far, he seems the most normal of the group of superheroes.

“HYDRA wanted you to be the next Winter Soldier,” Bucky says. TJ's eyes widen and he looks at Bucky; he hadn’t expected him to be the one to answer. Last time they met, he hadn’t been very forthcoming, and the answers he gave were confusing. That answer was surprisingly straight forward.

“Why me?” TJ asks.

“You’re my clone,” Bucky answers, staring at TJ who is staring back at him. “They couldn’t recreate my strength with anyone else, so they tried with you.” Bucky narrows his eyes at TJ and asks, “Did it work?”

 _Clone? That’s crazy_ , TJ thinks. He looks at Sam, but Sam doesn't look surprised.

“I think it worked,” Steve says, facing them. TJ feels a bit gratified when he sees that Sam at least looks surprised by Steve’s comment.

“What did they do to me?” TJ asks, thinking about the metal straps he ripped apart.

“We can’t be sure, but we think they gave you a version of the supersoldier serum, and from what Steve said, it may have worked.” Sam answers.

TJ can barely believe what he’s hearing. Avengers, super soldiers, and clones--this is not his life. He can’t believe this all started yesterday…or has it been longer?

“Where’s my brother?” TJ asks, a bit desperately, “Is he alright?”

“Last I heard from the news, he was in the hospital,” Sam answers.

“How is he?” TJ asks, biting his bottom lip.

“I don’t know,” Sam says, voice soft.

“Is that where we’re going? The hospital?” TJ asks.

“No, it’s not safe,” Steve answers.

“I don’t care if it’s safe. I need to see my brother. It’s my fault--”

“It’s not safe for him,” Steve interrupts, halting TJ’s protests.

“Then where are we going?” TJ asks, wondering what's going to happen to him. Will he have to be on the run for the rest of his life? It's not like he has much of a life to go back to, he thinks from the self-hating part of himself that's never far from the surface.

“Somewhere safe," Steve says.

“Can you be a bit more specific?” TJ asks, a bit annoyed now.

“Avengers headquarters. There's nowhere safer right now, and we can get more information there," Steve answers.

“When will I be able to see my family?” TJ asks. He needs to make things right with Doug...if he can. No, he won't think like that. If Doug wasn't going to make it, it wouldn't be a secret for long. He'll be fine.

“I don’t know," Steve answers, looking sorry.

“Can I call them?” TJ asks.

“It’s too--”

“Dangerous,” TJ finishes, “Yeah, I get it. When we get to our destination, will I get to call them?”

“We’ll find a way,” Steve says. He looks sympathetic.

TJ slumps further into his seat and sighs. He's used to some degree of crazy in his life what with growing up in the White House. Even in the years between his dad's presidency and his mom's first run for president, he always found himself surrounded by people who wanted something from him. The way he coped--admittedly not very successfully--was to make sure he always knew what people wanted from him; that way it was his choice whether he would give it to them or not. In this situation, he can't figure out what the Avengers want from him. Did they rescue him because Bucky wanted them to? Is it because he's the fucking clone of a somehow still alive Howling Commando? Do they want him because Nazis have given him super-strength?

He feels a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?" Sam asks.

Something in the way Sam is looking at him makes TJ want to tell him the truth, but TJ just shrugs in response, not knowing how to put all his swirling emotions into words.

"If you're not, it's understandable," Sam continues, "I don't know what would be going through my mind if I were you. Let me know if you need to talk. Steve says I'm good listener." Sam nods in Steve's direction.

TJ is suddenly reminded of the counselors at his Narcotics Anonymous meetings, but unlike at his meetings, he's not annoyed. Maybe it's because Sam sounds like he genuinely cares, while most of the counselors he has seen tend to be going through the motions, saying what they are supposed to but not meaning a word of it.

"He is," Steve pipes in, "Guess he has to be good at something considering how slow he runs."

"Who are you calling slow, old man?" Sam snarks back.

"Old man? I'm not the one who gets lapped by little old ladies with walkers," Steve says. TJ finds it kind of amazing how bitchy Steve can be. Dad would love it. Hell, Doug would love it, once he once he gets past his hero-worship.

Thinking about Doug, TJ drops his head into his hands. His brother needs to be okay. If he's not--no, TJ can't let himself think that. TJ's eyes are suddenly wet and his whole body is shaking. He feels a hand rubbing his back and hears someone muttering soothing words. He doesn't know how long his sits, curled up into himself, breaking down, but once he gets a hold of himself, TJ sits back up. He wipes the tears from his face and thinks he must look wrecked. "Sorry about that," TJ says to no one in particular.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, man. We've all been there," Sam says, which doesn't stop TJ from feeling embarrassed by his display. He looks at the other passengers: Scott's driving and hopefully ignoring TJ's breakdown, Bucky's staring out the window, and Steve is looking at TJ.

"We'll get you into contact with your family as soon as possible," Steve promises. "We won't keep you from them any longer than necessary."

TJ looks over at Steve. "Thanks," he says to Steve, a bit calmer now. TJ settles in for the long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait. Thanks for your patience.


End file.
